If Life Gives You Lemons…

The fine folks at Urban Fare have done it again, bringing you merchandise that tops even their previous exotic and downright weird offerings. Once you see these, you’ll wonder how you ever survived those hectic martini parties without these little beauties: star lemons!

And what, pray tell, is a “star lemon”? Why, it’s a star shaped like a lemon, of course! No, wait. That’s not it. It’s a lemon with a cross-section in the shape of a star. Yeah, that’s it. No more spending hour after hour getting your drink and plate garnish just right. Now you can just slice and go! Isn’t that worth $5.00 a lemon?

Unlike the square watermelon, I wasn’t able to find any information about this particular incarnation of Japanese fruit shape sculpting. I can only assume that the lemons are created in the same fashion as the watermelons, using a glass enclosure into which the fruit are placed while they are still growing.

Though on the one hand, I consider this a tremendous waste of energy and human ingenuity, on the other hand I suppose there is a positive side to this product. Rather than cutting up lemons into stars and throwing away the leftovers created in the process, no leftovers are generated. Just slice, and away you go!

It’s especially funny talking to the cashiers at Urban Fare about some of the products they carry. It must suck working 8 hour days for minimum wage only to watch some lazy-ass empty-nester blow their RRSP nest egg on fruit that’s $5 a pop, $500 a pound coffee, and $100 watermelons.

Such are the responsibilities of the jet set Baby Boom cohort. Eat, drink and avoid slicing lemons, for tomorrow we die! Time has to be spared at any cost, I guess, because no one’s getting any younger. And someone out there is always happy to sell that time back to them at a hefty markup, because if they don’t, someone else will.

But isn’t anyone asking if that’s a good enough reason?