Mile High Club

The other day, somewhere between Silicon Valley and Sin City, I was thinking about the paradox of the failing airline industry. How is it possible that the lynchpin of international business is constantly on the verge of financial collapse? I think the airline industry needs to take drastic action, and leverage some of the unique assets of its industry to pull itself out of its financial nosedive.

For example: movie theaters have long taken advantage of its captive audience. And they’ve only got you for two hours! Imagine what you could do with a captive audience for a trans-Pacific flight to Australia? I’m thinking four hours of in-flight ads, and people who are only too willing to watch them because they’re the only entertainment available. And what about all that free advertising space? I’m envisioning print ads on the overhead luggage compartments, the backs of seats, tray tables (both sides), the floor, and the ceiling.

And I hate advertising – how is it that people in the airline industry haven’t figured this out?

But why stop there? Branson announced plans to add beds and cabins to Virgin airlines flights – I say he didn’t go far enough. Hey, if you’re flying over international waters, why not use the absence of legal jurisdiction to your advantage? Where are the sky call-girls? Where are the in-air monkey knife fights? And hasn’t military aviation refueling technology progressed to the point that a Columbian provisioning plane could supply international flights with all the cocaine they could inhale prior to landing?

Honestly, someone just isn’t trying.