The No-Shill Zone

As if the IOC’s ban on blogging by Olympic athletes wasn’t silly enough, now Friendster (no link whuffie for you!) has gone and fired one of their engineers. One of their popular engineers. Popular for blogging. Seriously – don’t these guys like free advertising? Or employees and audiences actually paying attention to them? While Friendster and the IOC have been busy losing friends, others in the world of traditional media have been busy trying to make them. Some, like Warner music, are even trying to get cozy with bloggers any way they can, while some bloggers are eagerly taking them up on their offers.

Advertising in the blogosphere is the topic of heated discussion these days. On the one hand, it’s unclear how advertisers will easily leverage the street-cred offered by blogs. After all, how can you launch an ad campaign when the broadcasters of your message choose you and not the other way around? On other hand, bloggers are understandably concerned that pandering to advertisers will undermine the “purity” of blogging.

I don’t personally think there’s anything wrong with advertising in blogs per se, it’s just that advertising in general is so ham-fisted, whether it’s online or not, that it doesn’t seem to matter.

Consider my insurer. Fred McKell at State Farm sold me some car and apartment insurance about six months ago – and he hasn’t stopped spamming me with junkmail ever since. I’ve called State Farm. I’ve called Fred McKell. Have they stopped? Of course not – they just keep on insisting I should think about life insurance. Me – a twenty-nine year old guy who saves obsessively, has no children, and no mortgage. Earth to State Farm – except for the cost of the pine box in which they’re going to have to funnel what remains of my corpse after the organ transplant recipients have had their pick of my goodies, I ain’t leaving behind any kind of financial burden requiring a pre-emptive financial hedge. You don’t know me or what I want as a consumer, so guess what? La-la-la-I-am-not-listening!

This is the reason it’s going to take a couple rounds before people trying to sell things figure out this new landscape. No longer are you, the producer, in charge of the message. We will find you. We will figure out if and why you’re important. We will determine what gets propagated to others. If you’re lying to us, we’ll know – and we’ll tell everyone about it. And if you try to get in our face and interrupt our lives with garbage we don’t care about, we will ignore you, use tools to bypass you, exercise our rights to route around you, and break your Orwellian control mechanisms (either by ourselves, or by presenting a significant enough market to encourage your competitors to do it for us).

The reason corporations don’t like this new landscape for promoting products: it’s hard. You don’t just order up a side of fanatical consumer devotion like a 30-second ad spot, even if it’s during the Super Bowl – money will not buy you friends here. Just look at the current struggles of the RIAA. They’ve just been sitting back and cranking the handle on a hype machine that has enabled them to sell crap and still achieve a decent return. No wonder legitimate artists support the revolution. This new environment will be unforgiving – you’re only going to sell something by building a community of consumers, users, and listeners who love everything you do, track everything you do obsessively, tell everyone they know that cares about what you’re doing, and believe in your product enough to be willing to pay to make sure you keep giving them the good stuff.

I predict the winners in the future of media (and consumer products in general) will only be able to win their consumers through allegiance and word of mouth. The winners will not only build better products and provide better service, but they’ll also find ways to make it easier for their users to tell others about the company and its products in their own voice. Want to know how to do this? Look at Phish and its practice of allowing people to tape their concerts. Look at the Amazon Associates program, which allows web sites to make money by linking to Amazon products (where success requires the web site to drive traffic by providing a value to visitors). Look at Cory Doctorow, Larry Lessig, and Dan Gillmor, all of whom have built a cult-like following for their blogs and other writings, released their books for free on the Internet, had them translated and propagated around the world by their devotees, and have still made money in the process.

Any company that provides people what they want and provides an easy way to tell others about it will reap the benefit of network effects that will catalyze explosive growth. Now that’s an upside worth advertising.

Olympic-Sized Lunacy

It takes a special class of mental retardation to justify spending millions of dollars on a sporting event that, arguably, could be spent on more important things like, you know, feeding people or something. Leave it to the Olympics to super-size this idiocy to unparalleled paranoid heights.

Taking a page from Fight Club, the IOC decreed the First Rule of the Olympics is: you can’t talk about the Olympics. Yeah, nothing builds up the buzz on the street like a complete dearth of unscripted commentary by the actual people involved in an event. Perhaps the IOC is attempting a subversive attempt to corrupt our youths by having them imagine what’s going on in the minds of athletes during scenes like this?

Moving briskly from that decree to Biblical references, the IOC declared: thou shalt not wear, drink, or think anything not approved by our sponsors. I think I remember this tactic from somewhere, but where? Hmmm….oh, that’s right – that kid who got thrown out of school on “Coke in Education Day” for wearing a Pepsi t-shirt. I mean, what’s next?

Security Guard: “I’m sorry sir, we can’t allow you to enter this event.”
Attendee: “Why? I’ve spent hundreds of dollars on a ticket. I traveled thousands of miles to get here. I’ve already changed into my IOC-sanctioned silver unitard and placed my clothing, camera, phone, outside food, and the part of my brain responsible for forming long-term memories in the incinerator! I even submitted to a urine test, which is bizarre because I’m not even competing! What else could you possibly need from me?”
Security Guard: “Well it says here that you once worked at Niketown, and as you know from the mandatory six-hour orientation session, Reebok is the official shoe of the Olympics…”

Laugh it up – I’m sure Teddy Kennedy never thought he’d end up on a terrorist watch list, but hey, things happen.

In keeping with the belief that deaths must come in threes, the final death came with the censoring of American broadcasts of the games. It started with the censoring of the opening of the games, when some minor percentage of the population was denied the right to see fake plastic penii. And then it continued right on until the networks blocked out the image of a tutu-clad Canuck performing the worst dive entry ever.

Actually, come to think of it, I’m kind of glad they censored that image – nothing’s so harmful to the cachet of being Canadian than some guy in a dress hawking an online gambling web site. Unless he was drunk on Molson Canadian, because then he was just being ironic.

We seem to be trapped in a logic maze constructed by advertising goons, focus groups, and psychopaths working hard towards their Major in Annoyance but slacking on their Minor in Selling Things People They Want. An advertising exec in a room somewhere gets lazy and rather than actually thinking about what a customer cares about, they try to forge artificial relationship by blasting audiences with messages everyone ignores. And then when that fails, they send the Gap Gestapo to hunt you down for wearing a flannel shirt.

Not just any flannel shirt, mind you – last season’s flannel shirt. And they can’t permit that, now can they?