There are many reasons to be glad to be back in Canada, and I’m sure I’ll get around to writing about those at some point, but for now: I’m watching Team America on cable without any annoying <bleeps> spoiling the adult-themed humour.
Which reminds me of another reason to be glad to be back: the letter “u” is officially back in English words again.
For our recent trip to Paris, I picked up a copy of Frommer’s French PhraseFinder & Dictionary as a backup in case my passable French skills failed me. Boy am I glad I did, otherwise Ashley and I may have accidentally misinterpreted the noise coming from the neighbor above our rental apartment one morning for a homicide in progress. Luckily, Frommer’s “Getting Intimate” section features such helpful translations as:
That’s it!: Oui, comme ça! (Wee kohm sah)
More!: Continue comme ça! (Koh~-tee-nue kohm sah)
Harder!: Plus fort! (Plue ohr)
Faster!: Plus vite! (Plue veet)
And thus we were saved from mistakenly calling emergency services and causing much embarrassment to both ourselves and the couple in question.
I was actually quite surprised with the inclusion of this guidance in Frommer’s. It’s a nice piece of foresight on their part and it certainly goes above and beyond the usual “can you tell me where to find the train station” phrases you expect in these types of guides. These guys have thought of everything someone on the prowl in France might require, including pickup lines:
Excuse me, may I buy you a drink?: Pardon, puis-je vous offrir une verre? (Pahr-doh~ pwee-zhuh voo-zoh-freer uh~ vayhr)
You’re very attractive: Tu es très jolie (Tueh ay tray zhoh-ee)
Practical phrases like:
May I come inside?: Puis-je entrer? (Pwee-zhuh aw~-tray)
Let me help you out of that: Laissez-moi l’enlever pour toi (Leh-say mwah law~-luh-vay poohr twah)
Less obvious, but no less important, “I’d like to avoid a ‘Crying Game‘ type surprise please” phrases:
You don’t have anything you want to tell me first, do you?: Y a-t-il quelque chose dont tu voudrais me parler? (Yah-teel kehl-kuh shohz doh~ tueh voo-dray muh pahr-lay?)
Let’s just be friends: Soyons amis, sans plus (Swah-yoh~-zah-mee saw~ plues)
And for those lucky enough to undertake the same performance given by our neighbours (see above), the inevitable awkward kiss-off phrases whose meaning transcend language:
I’m sorry I have to go now: Je suis désolé, je dois m’en aller maintenant (Zhuh swee day-zoh-lay zhuh dwah maw~-nah-lay meh~t-naw~)
I have to work early tomorrow: Je dois me lever tôt pour mon travail (Zhuh dwah muh leh-vay toh poohr moh~ tra-vie)
Combined with the “full list of body parts” (page 126), Frommer’s provides everything required to be a modern Casanova. Or at least the French equivalent.