Gay is the New Black

Nearly fifty years ago, on May 17, 1954, the US Supreme Court ruled in the case of Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, unanimously declaring that racial segregation violated the 14th amendment of the US Constitution. Fifty years later, we’re only finally getting around to applying the same kind of logic to homosexuals and same-sex marriage.

Though it was Trudeau who stated in 1967 that “the state has no place has in the bedrooms of the nation”, it appears that most people took him literally, limiting the equality of homosexuals to the bedroom – at least until last week. Last week, an Ontario court ruled that the definition of marriage should be changed. A parliamentary committee recommended, in a nail-bitingly close 9-8 vote, that Ottawa not challenge the ruling. Yet this ruling, and the government’s decision not to appeal, has caused much hand-wringing.

Looking back on the Brown v. Board of Education, fifty years of time has given us the perspective to realize the wisdom of the ruling, and perhaps laugh a little at ourselves. What the heck were we thinking, segregating schools? We always seem to find something to build into a monster, something new to demonize. If it’s not minorities, it’s Commies. If not the Commies, then it’s the terrorists. Humanity has an amazing ability to turn nothing into something to worry about.

Let’s re-examine the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedom for a sec, shall we? Picking, at random, section 15, subsection 1:

“Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability.”

It’s pretty simple: what part of “every individual is equal before and under the law” don’t people understand? Does the Charter need to speak slower and e-nun-ci-ate?

Seriously, what’s the problem with gay marriages? Oh my god, two people want to commit to each other in a loving relationship that falls within the legal framework of the land! Those magnificent bastards! Next thing you know, they’ll be buying houses together! Renovating! Wanting to adopt children so that they can raise them in a loving, tolerant home! We’ve got to stop this before it’s too late!

Yes, gay is the new black. Just as with segregation, we’ll undoubtedly be looking back fifty years hence, shaking our heads and wondering again what the heck we were thinking. However, I hope it’ll happen sooner than that.

Meanwhile, some people are still holding out, fighting to ban children’s books, books that promote tolerance of same-sex relationships, from schools in Surrey. You know Surrey, right? The largest expatriate Sikh population outside India. Excuse me if I find it ironic that a community composed largely of visible minorities, one which is struggling even today to battle derogatory stereotypes and racism, is acting against another minority group. Wouldn’t want to promote tolerance, now would we? After all, that’s not what Canada is all about at all!

Sheesh.

Wrong Way, Humanity!

There have been a few “innovations” I’ve seen over the last couple of weeks that have made me scratch my head and doubt humanity’s intelligence. Despite our success in paddling against the universe’s current of increasing entropy, every so often it seems we decide to do a U-turn and see if we can outrun the current and hasten our doom.

First up: Flexplay‘s dumbfounding EZ-D technology. The idea of EZ-D is simple: you buy an EZ-D DVD title for really cheap (like the cost of a movie rental), and once the package is opened the DVD slowly decays until it is unreadable by a DVD player. Why? So that the consumer doesn’t have to return the DVD, like they would if they had rented the DVD. Great, eh? Heaven forbid we have to get off our fat asses, hop in our SUV to return a video. Why bother using a DVD again and again, when we can use it once, and throw it away?

Second offender: the Browning Automatic Bicycle Transmission. Admittedly, it’s kind of a neat idea – except for the fact that it augments a green transportation technology with a computer and of course, a nice hunk of batteries. Come on! It’s a bicycle! It’s not like it requires a license to figure out how to operate the gears on a bike. Is this the kind of problem we developed a big meaty brain to solve?

My only consolation in the face of these abominations came from an author of children’s fiction, JK Rowling. This week it was announced that the latest installation of the Harry Potter series will be printed on 100% recycled paper. So, to summarize, the score for slowing our descent into oblivion stands as follows: advanced science – 0, authors of Wiccan children’s fiction – 1.