Opinion | Page 35 | www.brendonwilson.com

March 23, 2003April 23, 2012 by Brendon J. Wilson

Missing the Point

I was walking through the excellent ASI Exchange event the other week and came upon a booth from Industry Canada. They were preaching the benefits of business eco-efficiency and their new web site for guiding businesses in this endeavour. I, being the eco-convert I am, was eager to see what Industry Canada had to say. And then I came face-to-face with the Government of Canada’s bureaucratic brand of doublethink.

The brochure was titled “Eco-efficiency: Good Business Sense”, and it got off to a great start:

“Eco-efficiency is increasingly becoming a key requirement for success in business. It’s the art of doing more with less, of minimizing costs and maximizing value. Eco-efficiency promotes the creation of goods and services while optimizing resource use, and reducing wastes and pollution.”

Sounds great, sign me up! The brochure outlines a simple three step program for starting to incorporate eco-efficiency into your business:

Assess yourself
Create a plan
Perform a cost-benefit analysis of the proposed plan.

Again, all good. I was pretty impressed until something odd happened. About halfway through the brochure, the brochure was entirely upside down – some thoughtless printer had messed up this flawless document! What a shame, to have this work ruined by having a production mishap insert the pages upside down. And, not only that, when I righted the brochure, I realized the mishap had managed to garble the text so severely that it almost looked like another language. The text now looked almost French. In fact, it looked exactly like French.

Hmm. Waitaminute.

Yes, you’ve got it: Industry Canada had printed a combined English-French version of the brochure – duplicating the entire content in a language that, despite being an official language, is not the mother tongue of the majority of British Columbians. And wasted a lot of paper, ink, and energy, not to mention money, in the process. Can you say “do as I say, not as I do”?

To be fair, the government is required to print all documents in both English and French. Fine, no problem there. But wouldn’t it make more sense, ecologically speaking, to print the French version separately? How can government expect business to get this new eco-religion, when the government itself hasn’t been baptized?

Come on guys, get your act together.

March 19, 2003April 23, 2012 by Brendon J. Wilson

Where Are The Gun Nuts?

There are two rules to remember when talking to Texans: don’t mention Custer, and don’t question the right to bear arms. I learned these rules the hard way while working with a bunch of Texans at Hush, when I raised the innocent question: “So, why exactly, do you need guns?”

Big mistake.

When I regained consciousness, I learned that the Texans consider guns an essential part of being a citizen. Only by possessing a gun could a citizen adequately equip himself to repel an invasive or repressive entity. Given America’s history of repelling outside forces, including its own colonial government, this seemed like a well-considered line of reasoning for keeping a gun. Then again, it’s important to recognize that this well-considered line of reasoning was well-considered and reasoned in the late 18th century, an age before you could buy semi-automatic weaponry at the local Wal-Mart.

Fast forward to present day.

In his recent book, Michael Moore wrote a satirical letter to the UN claiming the rightful US government had been overthrown by a junta led by George W. Bush in a mock appeal for immediate intervention by the United Nations. In seriousness, his claim is not without merit. However, if we are to take Moore’s claim seriously for a moment, we have to ask ourselves an important question: where are the gun nuts?

Sorry. Of course, I meant to say “gun enthusiasts”. “Patriots”. “Freedom Fighters”. “‘Soldier of Fortune’ subscribers”. Whatever. You know who I’m talking about. Or rather, who I’m talking to.

That’s right, I’m talking to you, Mr. “loaded-gun-under-the-pillow”. The day is at hand that you’ve feared all along! The US is in the grips of corporate raiders, bent on exploiting Lady Liberty for their own gain. Your own government is a tool of oppression, and now is the time to rise up and overthrow your government!

Oh wait, that’s right. You’ve only got an assortment of small arms, whereas your government has access to nifty gadgets like multi-billion dollar, state-of-the-art fighter planes equipped with air-to-ground missiles. Oh well, no one said the fight would be easy. Good luck! This web page will self destruct in five seconds!