Nasty Little Shock

Nothing like being called into a meeting with the Associate Dean for Academic Programs and the Assistant Dean for the Master’s Program without explanation to start a day off on an interesting note. Yesterday, I got an email from the MBA Core Administrator requesting I meet with Anne de Wolfe and Brian Bemmels in the afternoon. No other information was provided. As member of an action against the University‘s tuition increases, I was a little nervous. I requested an explanation for the meeting and got the shock of my life.

Dear Brendon

I’ve asked to meet with you today to discuss an alleged verbal threat that you made in the Core classroom on Sept 10th. The threat was not directed at a particular person but it upset one of my Managers. I will provide details at our 4:30 meeting.

I appreciate you attending this meeting on short notice so we can clear up this matter.

Anne DeWolfe
Assistant Dean
MBA Programs

Verbal threat? Huh?? It smelled fishy, so I took one of my classmates, Kara McNair, to the meeting.

At the meeting it was revealed that before one of our classes an employee of the University overheard a private conversation between me and two other students. In it, I expressed frustration at the lack of organization in some aspects of the MBA program, a common complaint of a large percentage of the MBA students. The other two students, Kara McNair and John Phan, joked that I should be careful, after all the class had microphones and the University could be spying on us. At the time, it appeared the class was empty.

As anyone who know me will attest, I have no problem in expressing my opinions in a frank manner. I stated:

“If anyone confronts me on this, you know me, I’ll tell them.”

However, what the complainant alleged I said was quite different. The complainant alleged I stated:

“If anyone confronts me on this, you know me, I’ll kill them.”

I understand the need for the University to investigate any complaint of such a serious nature. However, the manner in which the University conducted the investigation was puzzling:

  • When I left the room after making my comments, the complainant made no attempt to verify that I had said what was alleged.
  • Though the complainant was able to identify me by my name tent, neither of the other two students were identified.
  • The investigation made no attempt to identify and interview the two other students before interviewing me. I’m sure the complainant could have easily identified Kara and John from the MBA Student Roster to facilitate this questioning.

At this point it’s not clear what action may be taken, but I am filled with a sense of unease. First, it was a private conversation. While I understand the University’s need to ensure a safe work environment for their workers, it seemed a bit creepy. Second, they displayed a lack of common sense in the way they conducted their investigation. As a litigant against the University, wouldn’t it have made sense to conduct this investigation properly and avoid the possibility that it could be construed as harassment?

This is not the way to create an environment conducive to higher education.

Cat’s Ass Coffee

Wandering through Urban Fare, our local over-priced grocery store for foods snobs, Ashley pulled me aside to see the latest thing in coffee. She’d seen the coffee on the local news the evening before, but thought the product was a hoax and decided she had to see it for herself. And there it was: coffee, fresh from the cat’s ass.

Technically speaking, they don’t call it “cat’s ass coffee”, although they might as well. The official name, Kopi Luwak, roughly translates to “luwak’s coffee”, where a luwak is a Paradoxurus hermaphroditus, also called a Toddy cat. The coffee originated in Java, Sumatra, and Sulawesi, and is distinct from other coffees in that it isn’t produced in the traditional fashion, where the coffee cherry is picked, the coffee bean extracted and dried. Instead, this type of coffee is produced when a luwak eats a coffee cherry and, uh, poops it out. The expelled bean is collected, cleaned (I hope) and sold for the low low price of $600 CDN a pound.

Reading the comments about this coffee from coffee aficionados is funnier than anything network television is likely to produce this fall. In one article on the coffee, Richard Karno, former owner of The Novel Cafe in Santa Monica, stated:

“It’s the best coffee I’ve ever tasted. It’s really good, heavy with a caramel taste, heavy body. It smells musty and jungle-like green, but it roasts up real nice…It has a little of everything pleasurable in all coffees: earthy, musty tone, the heaviest bodied I’ve ever tasted. It’s almost syrupy, and the aroma is very unique.”

Caramel taste? Earthy? I’m lucky that our dear friend Richard didn’t add the word “nutty” to his description of the coffee’s taste, otherwise I’d be in hospital right now suffering from a full body hernia. The aroma is “musty”? I’ll bet it’s musty. Nothing like traveling through the digestive tract of a jungle animal to give yourself an odor that’ll keep Coco Channel busy trying to camouflage it for the next fifty years.

People really fool themselves. This is the same brand of idiocy that convinces cigar connoisseurs to think they’re displaying their sophistication by partaking in a distinguished tradition, instead of realizing they’re sucking on a roll of dried leaves that’s been lit on fire. And paying a lot of money for the privilege to boot.

Suckers.