We went to RezRez‘s Christmas Party last night. It was awful. Drinks were $6.50 (hip flasks courtesy of Farshad were an easy solution to that problem). But that was only the beginning.
First up, Stan Sprenger, the company’s CEO. Imagine you were the CEO of a company, set to deliver a speech to the 300-plus employees and guests attending the corporate Christmas party. Would you consider the following anecdote appropriate?
I was at the mall today, and I saw a little blond girl get up on Santa’s knee.
“What do you want for Christmas?” Santa asked.
“I want Barbie and GI Joe!” the little girl proclaimed.
Santa looked confused at this request.
“I don’t understand. Doesn’t Barbie come with Ken?” Santa asked.
“No. Barbie comes with GI Joe. She only fakes it with Ken.”
Probably not. I don’t think I know a single self-respecting executive officer who would consider that an appropriate joke for a corporate Christmas function. But it didn’t stop there.
There were the little barbs volleyed by the Chief Operating Officer during her introduction of the CEO. Perhaps they were subtle enough that most people didn’t notice, but I detected the distinct edge of frost in the COO’s delivery of some carefully chosen jokes sent in the CEO’s direction.
About halfway through last night, everyone at the party transformed in my mind into Sims characters. I even saw the body language of those engaged in conversation match those of Sims characters, all exaggerated and overly animated. I felt very alone in that room. It’s not just that I didn’t know a lot of the people there or that I didn’t fit the age demographic of the company (newly graduated high school teens in the call center, mid-thirties burnouts everywhere else). The thing that really struck me was just how much I couldn’t relate to the people I was around.
I mean, yes, it’s a party. People are looking to have fun and be a little silly. But there was something else at work last night. I couldn’t actually imagine myself ever being like one of those people. They were so…unsophisticated. Low brow. Or for lack of a better word, stupid.
I’ve always thought that most people are as smart as I am, at least from the point of view of common sense. Maybe it wasn’t an explicit assumption, but I now realize it’s probably the reason people fail to meet my expectations a lot of the time. I know the people at the party weren’t stupid, just that they had a different set of priorities and values. But I can’t help wondering: why can’t I share those values? Why can’t I just let go, forget about trying to make a difference and just enjoy the rollercoaster ride to the bottom?
